It is just a number. Age should be about how you feel not the years you have lived. It is the anniversary of the day you were ripped from the last secure, safe, sane and quiet place you will ever be. I am a day after my birthday and feeling out of sorts. I have had a good two days. Day before yesterday went to the movies by myself. It was great! I am one of those people that likes that. I spent yesterday and today with my strange but happy family. We went out and looked at furniture today, bought Van some nice new glasses at BJs ... great price by the way ... but now as I am getting ready to go to a fancy dinner as we are celebrating three birthdays, I am feeling moody. I get sad for all the people I no longer have in my life, whether through death or distance it still makes me sad. Yes it is my fault, but, still I want Kathy Watson from Reno to know she is still missed, I want Robert Owens to know I think of him from time to time, even though I have not spoken either in multiple years I remember them fondly. James 'Sparky J' Sparks, I loved you. you never knew.
I am glad Tracy my best friend from grade school found me. That Evie is as nice as always and Kim Klatt is the friend I hope to always have.

I miss you Mom and Dad, I don't think I am living up to your expectations and I am sorry about so much. I think you would have loved Van and Kate. They have helped me through so much. Alas I am too late as always...
All my love,
Colleen